What If We Think Outside of the Box...

Hey guys,

Ok so I always start off by saying I love my readers because you guys are some of the most devoted people I have ever seen. This being the case, I need to apologize for not being on top of things and getting more entries up. So to make up for it, I will be putting up at least 3 entries this week (not including this one). I'm hoping that this will make up for some, if not all of my absent entries... Expect to see me touch a little of love, politics, education, computing, and whatever randomness happens to come out of my head.

Ok now to get into tonight's blog... it's amazing how things happen. I am one who believes that everything happens for a reason. We may not immediately know what that reason is but if it's meant for us to find these things out, then we'll find them out. And so I'm thinking about the idea of making changes in my own life... Not so much the idea of making changes but the power to make change.

So many of my friends are experiencing hardship, whether it be job, love, family, or just life related. As I sit back and hear things, or even think about some of my own personal dilemmas (because I certainly am not immune) one of the things that constantly sits in the back of my mind is the idea of changing my outlook on things. It's very easy to say "Oh I have a problem," or "Oh I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to begin." However, I realize that a lot of times we don't think about possible solutions.

So my message tonight is to challenge yourself. If you have a problem that you think is so insurmountable that you have absolutely no options, take a second look at it from a different perspective. Try one so out of the box and see where it takes you. The idea behind this is to challenge yourself to do something differently than you did before you had the problem. Because in order to get to places you've never been, you have to do things you've never done.

All too often, I think we as a people complain about the have nots and don't think about the haves. And so with this challenge comes a different way of thinking. It introduces the idea of living your life the way you choose. While this does not make you immune to problems, it definitely helps reduce the amount of stress in your life. I can personally attest to this.

As I leave you guys, I wonder if this helps you. This being the idea of thinking out of the box and how it impacts your decision making. Let me know if you think this is all complete crap. I love hearing different reactions, and would rather read them as opposed to listening to you guys as you call and leave messages on my cell phone (or in our conversations). So you know what to do.

Until next time,

-C.

<P.S>Head over to Seattle's Top Model Contest and vote for Ericka Sherrell to win. We're trying to get her up to number 1 and out to the Top Model casting call in LA. Thanks guys.</P.S>

Love & Heartbreak: Pt. 2

Ok ok ok... So last night's blog was actually pretty well received. I've had quite a couple of people respond and say they really liked it. So I'm excited about that. I'm also excited to know that I've got some people thinking... That's the number 1 way to go for impact. So great great news!!!

So to jump straight into tonight's blog, last night I wrote about the pain of heartbreak and thinking about why people end up in such a funk. Tonight is the complete opposite. I got a lot of feedback, and I just knew that people wanted to hear about 1 thing: what about the single people looking for something. Well single people (including newly/soon-to-be single people), I ask you this: You had this great thing, and it didn't work out. What's next?

Ok same premise as last night... Let me get a bit deeper. What's next for you in terms of what you're looking for? And how are you going to get there? I had a conversation earlier today with another very good friend of mine who went through a terrible breakup with a guy she was really into and wants so bad to find her happiness. Let me be fair... She's not looking for it from men or dating or sex. But she's looking alright!

We started talking about some of the things she's trying. (For her privacy, I won't divulge but I can say if I was single, it would be ya typical 20 yr old in the city exploring life and love if ya know what that means!). She admitted that these things she's trying may not be the solution, but they're good space fillers. And as I listened, I told her it would be real interesting to see where she is and how she thinks/feels when she finds that thing she thinks she's looking for.

I say that because so many times, we leave the things of the past looking to start anew, but not really dealing with the things of the past. I have seen on so many Facebook pages how guys are trifling, or not worth a damn, or too good to be true. Guys will put how some girl broke their heart, or how the girl's now a ho after they stopped messing around, or put up pictures that need not be on there with ridiculous commentary. (WAIT!!! Let me run over there and make sure I delete some pics. Gimme one sec. . . . . . . . )

Ok, now that I got rid of the evidence, I'll continue. I think if people can take a candid look at why things went wrong, they'll find some answers as to how to start anew. Reasons like "I didn't do anything. The girls/guys always tried to come talk to me (random occasions at the club)" or "After I trusted them because they knew I got hurt from my past ..."; it's reasons like that that I think make absolutely no sense and I'll tell ya why.

I think people always disregard their part in the ending of something big, major, important. It's like, "it can't be anything I did because I was oh so perfect." Now that I've made that comment, I can see quite a couple of people reading this and thinking they never said that. But the thing is anytime someone admits wrong doing, they give up this perfect facade they think they're living in, and admit that they had a role in messing something up. And ya know what? I don't think that's a bad thing.

If a person can admit that they're wrong, I can trust them faster than a person in constant denial. Why? Because in admission, that person realizes that they have flaws and imperfections, and that's 1 step closer to fixing things than not admitting anything at all. So I guess I need to change my question. To everyone who has left a relationship, have you really thought about your role in why it was a bad relationship? And if you have, how has that changed you (your behavior, your outlook, your new relationships) afterward???

Hit me with your responses. Looking forward to hearing from everybody.

Until Next Time,

-C.

P.S.: Thanks again to everyone for reading this. But I need to ask you a favor. I need you guys to support my girl over at the local Top Model contest site out here. She's trying to get a chance to follow a childhood dream of being a model. (Ok maybe that was a bit much. But I'll do whatever it takes to get her to the judges.) So head on over by clicking this link, create a profile, and vote. Think of it as practice for Nov. 4th. LOL Thanks guys.

Love & Heartbreak

Hey guys,

<side note>So before I start, I just want to say thanks to Microsoft's Windows Live Writer, I have been able to maintain 2 blogs, the one here and the one over at Windows Live Spaces. (God I just gave Google the most clandestine endorsement ever!). I want people to be able to post comments anonymously if they choose to and Blogger lets you do this. So for all of you here at Blogger checking this out, this is for you. Why am I thanking Microsoft? Because using this Live Writer product, I can edit both blogs in 1 location (and I'm doing this on Windows Vista because I'm a PC and DAMN PROUD). So thanks to Microsoft for this. Check it out for yourselves even if you only have 1 blogging site. http://writer.live.com </side note>

Ok, so tonight's posting is a 2-parter on love. Love and heartbreak... I'll tell ya I don't want to turn into a sap but there's so much heartbreak in the air. I'm inspired tonight by something that recently happened in my life.

A very good friend of mine, more like a sister to me than anything else, has gone through a terrible event with a guy very close to her. To be fair, they both have been going through it, putting each other through the motions, just trying to get back to the place where all was once well. But as I'm sitting here writing this, I can't help but wonder why do we go through these things?

Why do we experience heartbreak? Let me be a little bit more clear... Why do we experience the pain of heartbreak? Why do we put each other through the consequences of heartbreak??? I think about the many hearts that I've broken and the number of times that I've apologized and can't help but wonder... What would these girls' hearts be like if I hadn't come into the picture? What would their lives be like if I hadn't brought them so much pain? What would their opinions be if I hadn't crushed some part of them that was just hoping... dreaming... wishing for the opportunity to have their Prince Charming or their knight in shining armor?

Everyone says well "if you hadn't gone through that, you wouldn't be who you are today." But I sometimes think... "well did I ask to go through that?" More than that, "did they ask to go through that?" Ok... So now comes the part where I say "I didn't mean to hurt those girls." Or better than that, "I'm not perfect. No one's perfect." Except I'm not going to say that. Because while I did have the best of intentions, I absolutely did hurt those girls. I didn't start out wanting to hurt those people. And I didn't want to end up hurting those people. I've taken a hard look at my life and tried to make amends with those people. Because that's not where I wanted things to go. I stepped back into what I wanted and looked at why things ended up where they did. And in some cases I was just a trifling fool who didn't know any better. And in some cases, I got caught up between 2 people who loved me more than they loved life themselves.

I have even looked at my current relationship and expressed doubt. I think 1 of the central things that keeps me in this is thinking about what I want, what she wants, and how we're going to get there. And that truly puts a smile on my face, because it's a realistic future that is not far far away...

So to everyone in a relationship who's taken a look at their relationship and said "I don't know if we're going to make it," remember that neither of you started out wanting to hurt the other. And that's important. Why? Because if you can remember what you wanted when you first started, try to find your way back to getting to where you want to be. Put the effort in to make it work. What do you do when you don't have it in you any more? Remember what Mary J. Blige said in a song on her Growing Pains album, "Just like you sometimes I fall but don't we all. Baby I feel your pain. We're all the same."

Ok. Time to open up the floor... I want to hear from you all. If you've been through it with your significant other, tell me what you did to try and ma

Technorati Tags: Love,Heartbreak,Relationships

ke it work. Check back for part 2 tomorrow.

Until next time,

-C