Ok ok ok... So last night's blog was actually pretty well received. I've had quite a couple of people respond and say they really liked it. So I'm excited about that. I'm also excited to know that I've got some people thinking... That's the number 1 way to go for impact. So great great news!!!
So to jump straight into tonight's blog, last night I wrote about the pain of heartbreak and thinking about why people end up in such a funk. Tonight is the complete opposite. I got a lot of feedback, and I just knew that people wanted to hear about 1 thing: what about the single people looking for something. Well single people (including newly/soon-to-be single people), I ask you this: You had this great thing, and it didn't work out. What's next?
Ok same premise as last night... Let me get a bit deeper. What's next for you in terms of what you're looking for? And how are you going to get there? I had a conversation earlier today with another very good friend of mine who went through a terrible breakup with a guy she was really into and wants so bad to find her happiness. Let me be fair... She's not looking for it from men or dating or sex. But she's looking alright!
We started talking about some of the things she's trying. (For her privacy, I won't divulge but I can say if I was single, it would be ya typical 20 yr old in the city exploring life and love if ya know what that means!). She admitted that these things she's trying may not be the solution, but they're good space fillers. And as I listened, I told her it would be real interesting to see where she is and how she thinks/feels when she finds that thing she thinks she's looking for.
I say that because so many times, we leave the things of the past looking to start anew, but not really dealing with the things of the past. I have seen on so many Facebook pages how guys are trifling, or not worth a damn, or too good to be true. Guys will put how some girl broke their heart, or how the girl's now a ho after they stopped messing around, or put up pictures that need not be on there with ridiculous commentary. (WAIT!!! Let me run over there and make sure I delete some pics. Gimme one sec. . . . . . . . )
Ok, now that I got rid of the evidence, I'll continue. I think if people can take a candid look at why things went wrong, they'll find some answers as to how to start anew. Reasons like "I didn't do anything. The girls/guys always tried to come talk to me (random occasions at the club)" or "After I trusted them because they knew I got hurt from my past ..."; it's reasons like that that I think make absolutely no sense and I'll tell ya why.
I think people always disregard their part in the ending of something big, major, important. It's like, "it can't be anything I did because I was oh so perfect." Now that I've made that comment, I can see quite a couple of people reading this and thinking they never said that. But the thing is anytime someone admits wrong doing, they give up this perfect facade they think they're living in, and admit that they had a role in messing something up. And ya know what? I don't think that's a bad thing.
If a person can admit that they're wrong, I can trust them faster than a person in constant denial. Why? Because in admission, that person realizes that they have flaws and imperfections, and that's 1 step closer to fixing things than not admitting anything at all. So I guess I need to change my question. To everyone who has left a relationship, have you really thought about your role in why it was a bad relationship? And if you have, how has that changed you (your behavior, your outlook, your new relationships) afterward???
Hit me with your responses. Looking forward to hearing from everybody.
Until Next Time,
-C.
P.S.: Thanks again to everyone for reading this. But I need to ask you a favor. I need you guys to support my girl over at the local Top Model contest site out here. She's trying to get a chance to follow a childhood dream of being a model. (Ok maybe that was a bit much. But I'll do whatever it takes to get her to the judges.) So head on over by clicking this link, create a profile, and vote. Think of it as practice for Nov. 4th. LOL Thanks guys.
This is a true blog. And accepting responsibility is a huge sign of growing up and maturing. Now while I do feel like there are some relationships where one person is just an asshole and one person has tried their best, but in most cases I have to agree with you that usually both share the responsibility. In a situation I "witnessed" lol. Sometimes you can be the best girlfriend in the world and do everything right on the surface, but underneath the surface you're getting it all wrong...like being insecure and making a man responsible for something that is not his job (like your self-esteem and validating you as a woman)...that sh*t ain't fair...and it is a beautiful moment when you can step outside yourself and see those things and correct them for the future. So yeah, while admitting your flaws is hard as hell sometimes, it is a wonderful way to get to know yourself and know what you want in a future relationship.
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