Hey guys,
<side note>So before I start, I just want to say thanks to Microsoft's Windows Live Writer, I have been able to maintain 2 blogs, the one here and the one over at Windows Live Spaces. (God I just gave Google the most clandestine endorsement ever!). I want people to be able to post comments anonymously if they choose to and Blogger lets you do this. So for all of you here at Blogger checking this out, this is for you. Why am I thanking Microsoft? Because using this Live Writer product, I can edit both blogs in 1 location (and I'm doing this on Windows Vista because I'm a PC and DAMN PROUD). So thanks to Microsoft for this. Check it out for yourselves even if you only have 1 blogging site. http://writer.live.com </side note>
Ok, so tonight's posting is a 2-parter on love. Love and heartbreak... I'll tell ya I don't want to turn into a sap but there's so much heartbreak in the air. I'm inspired tonight by something that recently happened in my life.
A very good friend of mine, more like a sister to me than anything else, has gone through a terrible event with a guy very close to her. To be fair, they both have been going through it, putting each other through the motions, just trying to get back to the place where all was once well. But as I'm sitting here writing this, I can't help but wonder why do we go through these things?
Why do we experience heartbreak? Let me be a little bit more clear... Why do we experience the pain of heartbreak? Why do we put each other through the consequences of heartbreak??? I think about the many hearts that I've broken and the number of times that I've apologized and can't help but wonder... What would these girls' hearts be like if I hadn't come into the picture? What would their lives be like if I hadn't brought them so much pain? What would their opinions be if I hadn't crushed some part of them that was just hoping... dreaming... wishing for the opportunity to have their Prince Charming or their knight in shining armor?
Everyone says well "if you hadn't gone through that, you wouldn't be who you are today." But I sometimes think... "well did I ask to go through that?" More than that, "did they ask to go through that?" Ok... So now comes the part where I say "I didn't mean to hurt those girls." Or better than that, "I'm not perfect. No one's perfect." Except I'm not going to say that. Because while I did have the best of intentions, I absolutely did hurt those girls. I didn't start out wanting to hurt those people. And I didn't want to end up hurting those people. I've taken a hard look at my life and tried to make amends with those people. Because that's not where I wanted things to go. I stepped back into what I wanted and looked at why things ended up where they did. And in some cases I was just a trifling fool who didn't know any better. And in some cases, I got caught up between 2 people who loved me more than they loved life themselves.
I have even looked at my current relationship and expressed doubt. I think 1 of the central things that keeps me in this is thinking about what I want, what she wants, and how we're going to get there. And that truly puts a smile on my face, because it's a realistic future that is not far far away...
So to everyone in a relationship who's taken a look at their relationship and said "I don't know if we're going to make it," remember that neither of you started out wanting to hurt the other. And that's important. Why? Because if you can remember what you wanted when you first started, try to find your way back to getting to where you want to be. Put the effort in to make it work. What do you do when you don't have it in you any more? Remember what Mary J. Blige said in a song on her Growing Pains album, "Just like you sometimes I fall but don't we all. Baby I feel your pain. We're all the same."
Ok. Time to open up the floor... I want to hear from you all. If you've been through it with your significant other, tell me what you did to try and ma
ke it work. Check back for part 2 tomorrow.
Until next time,
-C
*apologizing in advance for how long this is lol*
ReplyDeleteWow. Well I have had my heart broken before (by you) lol. And let me say that I have forgiven you though it took me a long time. In my case, I must say that I do feel like it happened for a reason and I am the better for it. The low place that you left me forced me to find my own strength to pick myself back up and learn to love and find myself all at once. I love and trust myself for the woman I am now instead of the girl I used to be and in some twisted way, you were the catalyst. And since I love myself more than I could ever love anyone now and am secure in myself, I can experience an adult relationship the right way...without depending on that man to validate me as a woman and being with a man because I choose him instead of need him. So don't beat yourself up too much because life goes on for us all and the pain from heartbreak doesn't last forever (though at times I thought mine's would). But it didn't; I've grown and I am very happy to know that you have too. :-)
Black man... i remember some of those heart breaks i witnessed alot of them... but i'm going through something with my lady and she asks me all the time "bae i'm so crazy why do you stay so many other girls would have left" and simply i reply because i love you. And i do, we're two people trying to come together as one while keeping our own identity. Its not going to be smooth sailing. There has always been talk of nothing is worth having unless you earn it well the same goes for relationships. All the bs that we go through becomes worth it when we get the outcome we desire. Or, even if we don't get the outcome we want what you've learned about yourself can always be carried on to your next endeavor. Heart break isn't fun trust me i know but its just one of those things that we all have to go through to make it all worth while. I love my girl so much and I know what we can be. Thats what i'm reaching for, that's why I stay. Like Mary said "We're almost to the very best part". Cory you've changed so much since bbacd but for the better. I look forward to your next blog. I'll sign off as "first clarinet".
ReplyDeleteIt may sound rather cliché, but I believe, we experience heartbreak, pain, and struggle as part of life’s lessons, love’s lessons, and self lessons. We are not designed to get it right the first time, the second time, or hell, even the third time. Many times, we learn through trial and error. My mom always said to me, “parenting does not come with instructions, so I may not always get it right, but I am trying my best”. I think the same is applicable for relationships. They do not come with instructions. We make the rules as we go along with the best of intentions, but things happen, no one is perfect.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking from personal experience and expressing my personal opinion, the heartaches and the heartbreaks I have experienced have made me stronger and wiser. It has taught me to genuinely value myself and value others. It has taught me to truly appreciate love.
To reference a specific few lines in your blog. . . we are laying the foundation for a beautiful, strong, dependable, and lasting thing. The rain may come and turn the soil into a muddy mess, but the sun will always shine again. The storm may threaten to knock down the solid structure, but the storm will always pass and the foundation will still remain.
I am not a 50 cent supporter, but, I believe this to be true. . .“Joy wouldn’t feel so good if it wasn’t for pain”.